On December 31, many will smoke their last cigarette, drink their last shot, have their last dessert, and will probably be the last day of them being lazy. January 1 will bring with it a fresh start, a brand new slate, opening the gate to 12 new months to upgrade our lives. The new year will be all about health, travel, hobbies and a better work-life balance.
Deja vu, isn’t it?
While setting a set of resolutions for the new year is a tradition, keeping them is not. In fact, it is so difficult to keep these resolutions that there are days commemorating such failures: January 17 as the Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day, or the second Friday in January as the Quitter’s Day. So a little over two weeks after making those resolutions, we are back to our old ways.
There can be multiple reasons at play here. “Sometimes the resolution may not fully resonate with the person, and she chose it just because it was pointed to them by somebody. Or, it could be too tall a resolution that is difficult to achieve in itself. Also, it could be too complex or complicated. At times, contingency planning isn’t done to think of how the pitfalls will be managed in case one struggles with keeping the resolutions. Also, support often helps in keeping the resolve— something that not many people realise, and hence, fail,” says Kamna Chhibber, clinical psychologist, head—mental health, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare.
Numerous polls suggest that the most common New Year resolutions include:
Fitness
Prioritise mental health
Lose weight
Improve diet
Improve finances
Stop smoking
Spending more time with loved ones
Make time for hobbies
Learn new skills
Improve work-life balance
Drink less alcohol
Travel more
Meditate
Be better at work
Overcome smartphone addiction
If you glance through the list, many of these are long-term goals, hence gradual. One cannot achieve fitness in a matter of a few days. It is much deeper and requires months of eating right, exercising regularly, and improving one’s overall lifestyle.
Similarly, quitting smoking or drinking less alcohol, too, cannot happen just because it’s a new year; rather habits take time to both develop and give up. As it takes time for the results to show, hence, they may lead to failure. Also, many of the resolutions are based on abstinence, such as giving up on bad habits, which can be difficult to achieve.
At times, we also don’t ask the ‘why’. ‘Why’ are we keeping this particular resolution, what will it bring to us? Experts suggest that once we know the answer to this question of ‘why’, resolutions are not just easier to keep but more enjoyable too.
Then there is the issue of oversubscribing, of choosing multiple resolutions, which can leave one overwhelmed and more prone to failing. In a paper titled Goals Gone Wild: The Systematic Side Effects of Over-Prescribing Goal Setting, researchers suggested that even when one sets multiple goals, she is likely to focus on one.
Many also feel pressured to set resolutions for the new year. “Humans have a natural tendency to compare themselves to others, especially in the age of social media where people often share their goals and achievements. Seeing friends, family, or peers making resolutions can lead individuals to feel compelled to do the same to avoid the perception of being left behind or not actively working on self-improvement,” says Dr Jyoti Kapoor, founder-director and senior psychiatrist, Manasthali.
Now that we know what the possible loopholes are, what should be the right strategy going forth?
“It is important to note that the success of these resolutions often depends on factors such as setting realistic and specific goals, creating a plan of action, and maintaining motivation over time. While New Year’s resolutions are a popular tradition, it’s equally important to pursue goals throughout the year, and adjustments can be made as needed,” Dr Kapoor says.
Here are some tips offered by experts:
Set realistic and specific goals
Define clear and achievable goals
Set goals that are simple and hold value and meaning to you
Be clear about what you want to achieve
Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps to make progress more achievable
Focus on a few key goals
Prioritise and create a plan
Be realistic about the time frame
Most importantly, understand that changes require time
Do not make resolutions which you think others would appreciate you for or look up to you for
However, at times, we might face challenges, incur challenges, and even fail at keeping the resolutions and achieving goals.
“If you find yourself struggling or if you’ve slipped up, it’s important to approach the situation with a constructive and compassionate mindset,” says Dr Kapoor.
Some tips to get you back on track:
Practise self-compassion: Setbacks are only normal aspects of change. Hence, be kind to yourself and avoid self-criticism
Reflect on the challenges and setbacks: Instead of going on that self-sabotaging trip of guilt and self-criticism, take some time out and reflect on the setback. Was it because you set an unrealistic goal, or was there a lack of planning, or was it because of some unforeseen challenges? Reflect and adjust your approach
Reevaluate and adjust goals: After reflecting, you might realise the issue that the goal itself was too challenging, or even unrealistic. If that’s the case, consider adjusting them to be more achievable goals. Also, try setting smaller and incremental goals to build momentum
Learn and grow: Instead of viewing setbacks in a negative light, view them as learning opportunities. Identify what worked well and what could be improved in your approach. Use this knowledge to refine your strategy
A temporal landmark
While resolutions can be set on any day of the year, what is it about January 1 that people wait for to set goals? “There are several psychological aspects that come into play when people set resolutions on January 1. The start of a new year provides a psychological marker for a fresh beginning. People are more likely to see the new year as a clean slate, which can be motivating for setting new goals and making positive changes. The idea of leaving behind the previous year’s challenges and mistakes contributes to a sense of renewal,” says Dr Jyoti Kapoor, founder-director and senior psychiatrist, Manasthali.
Interestingly, psychologists have a term for certain dates, like the beginning of the year. These are called temporal landmarks. “These landmarks serve as points in time that help individuals mentally separate past behaviours from future intentions. January 1 serves as a powerful temporal landmark, making it easier for individuals to commit to changes and view them as distinct from their past habits,” adds Dr Kapoor.